


vulnerable lover

by lostin_space



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex Manes Deserves Nice Things, Declarations Of Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:00:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23977855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: Michael tries to get over Alex, but it just ends up with him getting a second chance.ORVlamis' damn poem.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 16
Kudos: 143





	vulnerable lover

**Author's Note:**

> for pastelwitchling on tumblr who gave me the idea!
> 
> also poetry credits to the one and only vlamis

“You need to stop.”

“Stop what, exactly?”

Max sighed and shook his head, trying to figure out what exactly would get through Michael’s thick skull. He loved him, he did, but ever since being fucking revived, Max didn’t exactly have the energy to deal with him.

“Stop _forcing_ this,” Max said, “You aren’t happy. If I’ve learned anything from dying, it’s that happiness should be your top priority.”

Michael stayed slumped in the chair outside of the air stream, looking up at him half-drunk and half itching for a fight. Max wasn’t really eager to entertain either of those things. But, still, he didn’t do anything but roll his eyes when Michael tilted his head back.

“Just tell Maria you aren’t in love with her and put your energy into getting Alex back,” Max told him. Michael scoffed and shook his head.

“You don’t know shit.”

“I know you’re forcing it and I know you’re not happy. You went into that relationship thinking it was new or easy and then she’s just got the same fucking baggage that comes with having a long ass history tied up with aliens. Now you’re just there because you feel obligated. Anyone can see that you aren’t happy and that you miss Alex,” Max explained. Michael glared at him, pushing himself to his feet. “Truth hurts, huh?”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Max,” he said, sauntering closer in a way that was probably meant to be intimidating,”I’m not obligated to do shit and it doesn’t _matter_ what you think I want from Alex because that’s not an option. He’s got a boyfriend, he’s _happy,_ I’m not fucking with that.”

“You didn’t deny that you miss being with him,” Max said. Michael just continued that harsh little glare. “I bet if you just–”

“You don’t know anything!” Michael spat, “I’m not messing with what he has because you think you know what happened!”

“Fine,” Max sighed, too tired to argue, “Fine, but you need to do something. Write it out, something. Because whatever you’re doing isn’t working. You’re worse off than I’ve ever seen you and it’s getting old.”

“Write it out?” Michael repeated like it was a joke. Max just shrugged.

“Get all the feelings out. It helps, I promise.”

“I don’t need help.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t believe that.”

-

Maria had low expectations.

Michael disappeared for hours or days at a time, coming home smelling of motor oil and stale whiskey. She couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d been sober, but that was fine. She knew what she’d signed up for when she got in a relationship with him.

What she _didn’t_ sign up for was the angry, telekinetic bottle smashing or the waking up in the middle of the night to him crying in the bathroom. She didn’t sign up for him to be useless in bed after too many drinks, which was always now, and she didn’t sign up mad scientist levels of chaos in her kitchen whenever he got an idea that he’d abandon a few hours later when he passed out. It was chaotic and she was slowly but surely becoming miserable with him around. 

But the problem was, if this didn’t work, then what was the point? She’d destroyed any semblance of her relationship with Alex. There was no coming back from that. If she let this _thing_ with Michael crumble, then how could she possibly defend her actions? Besides, Michael seemed to depend on her. She couldn’t just leave him. She could fix him if she tried hard enough.

Maria made her way to her apartment that Michael Guerin had infiltrated after a long shift at work, eager to go to sleep but also knowing that there was a chance she would have his shit to clean up. When she opened the door, she couldn’t even be surprised to see the shit show he’d created. He was passed out on the floor, surrounded by papers upon papers. It looked like he’d torn apart six different notebooks and even bought new pens to do so if the shredded packaging beneath the coffee table said anything.

“God damn it, Guerin,” she sighed, dropping her bag by the door. Mindlessly, she began to pick all the pages.

Some had drawings, others had math. Most had math. A few others had words scribbled in his shitty handwriting, damn near illegible. She ignored it, putting them all in a stack on the table. Then she got to the one he’d passed out on. It longer, a bit more cohesive which was surprising since his brain had clearly checked out right after.

This one was the only one that had a title. Or, something like that. _Vulnerable lover_ was scribbled across the top and that made her smile. Maybe he was trying for once. Out of her own curiosity, she kept reading.

The first line alone was enough to make her realize this had nothing to do with her. So definitely not her. Maria felt her heart ache in something that wanted so badly to be betrayal, but it was clear the only person she’d betrayed was herself. How stupid could she have been to ignore what was right in front of her? No wonder she couldn’t fix him.

Maria looked between the stupid fucking poem and the unconscious man on her floor. She didn’t know what to do about that. Honestly, she didn’t want him in her apartment. She just… 

Before she could even think of anything, she stalked back over to her bag and fished for her phone. She dialed Alex’s number and, before she could second guess it, he answered. Why was he awake? Why did he answer so quick in the middle of the night, but avoided her calls during the day?

“Hello?” he asked. She sniffled, eyes skimming the poem again.

“You need to come get your boyfriend.”

“Uh,” Alex said slowly, “My boyfriend is right here.”

“Hey, Maria,” Forrest chimed in from beside him. Maria rolled her eyes. Of course _they_ got to be happy. 

“A veteran move as you limp into frame. Longing to be your crutch, I want to consume your pain, _”_ Maria read off, trying not to be too anger. It didn’t work. She was pissed.

“What?”

 _“_ So I loosen my belt, a familiar feeling. Ten years later and my heart’s still _reeling_ ,”she continued, voice turning a little sarcastic as she did so. It seemed to click what she was reading.

“Maria, sto–“

“Then you show up on my porch, floating down the stream. While I swim uphill, running out of steam.”

 _“Maria_.”

 _“_ Lies upon lies, _thighs upon thighs,”_ she read, scoffing, “Thighs, Alex.”

“Please, just–“

“Love a woman’s touch, but, damn, that guy.” Maria couldn’t help as tears pricked her eyes as she read that line out loud. She really was just a second choice.

“Where is Michael?”

 _“_ The one who lifted my heaviest sighs with ease. Too much pride to beg, I’ll let my looks say please,” she said, cynicism dripping from her tone, “So ignore my words, this is where I stand. You’re a pretty little liar and I’m your man.”

Alex was silent for a moment as if he was waiting for her to continue, as if that wasn’t damning enough. When she looked over to Michael again, he hadn’t even budged. He was dead asleep as if he didn’t know what the hell he’d just done.

“Well?” Maria said, “There’s your big love confession, you win.”

“It’s not a game, Maria,” Alex said softly, “He’s not a prize.”

“Are you sure about that? Because it _seems_ like that’s what he fucking wants to be. He just wants you, Alex,” she told him, “Come fucking get him.”

“Fine, I’ll be there soon,” Alex said and then the call ended.

Maria resisted the urge to rip up the page and just threw it on his unconscious body, making her way into the kitchen to grab a drink as she waited. What a spectacular break up.

-

“I am so sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, I get it,” Forrest said, giving his most understanding smile.

The last way he’d expected this night to go was them stopping mid-make-out to listen to some poetry written about Alex from his ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend that ended in them both getting dressed to go pick up that ex-boyfriend. However, it was common knowledge that he was down for whatever when it came to Alex Manes, so here he was.

“I-I don’t even really understand, but I don’t want to leave him there when Maria is only going to get more pissed,” Alex explained, still flustered since he’d been the moment he started hearing the poem. It felt like the beginning of the end for them, but Forrest was pretty damn determined to hold on.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, I understand. You care about him,” Forrest said. Alex waited for a few minutes before he nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Forrest insisted, “He’s your first love. I understand.”

“You’re the best, you know that?” Alex insisted, putting the car in park outside of Maria’s apartment complex. Forrest shrugged and gave a warm smile, his sympathetic ways earning him a kiss on the lips. “This is going to be so fucking weird.”

“I’m gonna be right by your side.”

“Thank you.”

With a heavy sigh, they both started heading towards the door. Forrest was preparing himself for anything under the sun because for all he knew, Maria would fly into a jealous rage or Michael would do something like try to kiss Alex right there or Alex would break up with him the moment they walked in. Anything could happen.

Alex knocked on the door and it opened before he could finish, Maria glaring at him like he was the one who’d fucked up.

“You actually came,” she laughed, shaking her head, “And you brought your boyfriend. Welcome to the shit show, Forrest, we’re all dumbasses around here.”

“Let me get him out of your hair and then you can talk to him when he’s sober, maybe,” Alex suggested. Forrest thought about laughing. It was sort of embarrassing that Alex hadn’t seen him in days and he still knew he wasn’t sober. Why else would he have written that stupid poem?

“By all means,” Maria laughed, throwing the door open. Michael was asleep on the floor in front of the couch with a piece of paper over his face. Alex sighed softly. “Don’t forget your little poem.”

“I didn’t ask him to do that, Maria. I’m sorry you’re upset, but it’s not my fault,” Alex said and Forrest smiled. It was nice to see him stand up for himself. He didn’t do that enough.

Maria rubbed her hand over her face.

“Yeah, I know it’s not,” she said, “But I feel like neither of you are ballsy enough to just put an end to it. Why the hell else would he still be pining for ten years?”

“Well, eleven now,” Alex corrected. Forrest folded in his lips in amusement. “And I _have_ tried. Doesn’t mean he listens.”

“Just get him out of my house.”

It took a little effort, but Alex and Forrest managed to pull Michael off the ground. He woke up a little bit, but he was clearly too fucked up to actually be coherent. Forrest pretended not to notice that Alex pocketed the poem.

“Alex,” Michael hummed through his drunken state, nuzzling his nose against his shoulder. Alex didn’t react as they slowly started dragging him out to the car. “Where’d you come from?”

“You’ve been a real piece of shit, Guerin,” Alex told him, “You can’t just write really obvious poems about me and leave them out for your girlfriend to find.”

“Whoops.”

“Yeah, whoops.”

They put him into the backseat of Alex’s car without much of hesitation and then climbed into the front seat. Alex easily grabbed Forrest’s hand as he started driving. That felt like enough confirmation that he was at least allowed this for a minute longer.

“So,” Forrest said, giving his hand a soft squeeze, “How are you feeling?”

“What do you mean?” Alex asked.

“Your first love still loves you and wants you back. Where does that put you?” Forrest wondered. Alex breathed in the slowest breath and let it out just a slow. 

“He’s in no shape for me to have an opinion.”

“Okay, but you still have one,” Forrest pressed, “Just tell me. It won’t hurt my feelings.” Alex waited a few more seconds and squeezed his hand a couple times as he thought about it.

“I… I love him,” Alex admit it, “It’s stupid and I don’t want to, but I do. But I like you and I like being with you and I’m happier with you than I ever was with him, so I shouldn’t want him.”

“But you do,” Forrest filled in. Alex didn’t confirm or deny. “You’re allowed to.”

“Stop just being nice to me for no reason.”

Forrest laughed, “It’s not for no reason. If my first love did that for me, I’d probably be right back on my bullshit. Besides, I’m not gonna sit here and say I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I could tell from a mile away that you two are like magnets.” Alex’s shoulders slumped.

“Then why even bother with me?”

Forrest pulled his hand to his lips, kissing it softly. 

“I’m a firm believer in living in the moment. Just because you’re not my forever, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it while it lasts. I know I could be happy knowing I made a good impact on someone like you if only for a minute,” Forrest explained. Alex groaned loudly as he leaned back into his seat, slowing the truck to a stopping point outside of his house.

“You’re too good for me.”

“Nah, I think we’re on the same page,” Forrest insisted. Alex looked over at him, clearly torn. “You want me to go home? Or do you wanna dump him on the couch and pick up where we left off? I’m down for whatever.”

Forrest wasn’t surprised when he chose something in the middle: sleeping in his bed, but in a very PG manner.

-

“What the fuck?”

“Morning, Sunshine.”

Michael struggled as he picked up his heavy head. He looked around to orient himself only to be further confused when he realized he was in Alex’s living room with Alex himself standing over him. He slowly sat up and Alex held out a cup of coffee.

“What the fuck happened last night?” he asked as he accepted it.

“Well, let’s talk about that,” Alex said, walking around to the chair so that there was a nice space between them. Michael rubbed his forehead and nodded. “Maria kicked you out of her house after discovering your poem declaring your undying love for me.”

Michael froze, looking up at him over the rim of the coffee cup. Fuck.

“I-I didn’t mean that,” he said, but immediately shook his head, “Okay, I _meant_ it, but I didn’t mean for anyone to find it. Max told me to write out my feelings and I did, but I was going to keep it to myself because I don’t wanna fuck up what you have with Forrest. You’re, you’re all happy now and I want you to be happy. I’m so sorry if I fucked that up, Alex, I swear to God, I will give Forrest my blessing or whatever. I don’t want to mess with your life anymore.”

Alex smiled at him, nodding slightly before he took another sip. It was weirdly ominous and Michael just had to wait. Michael learned pretty young that embarrassment got you no where. He chose to be brash and he chose to own every goddamn choice he made. But right now, for the first time, he was embarrassed.

“Alex, I swear–“

“You love me,” Alex hummed, the statement bold and strong. Michael licked his lips and nodded. “You love me so much you wrote a _poem_ about it. That’s Max levels of cheese and you just… You just did it.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael said even though he still couldn’t get a read on Alex’s actual feelings, “I hope I didn’t mess anything up between you and Forrest.”

“You didn’t,” Alex promised, “He’s understanding.”

“Is that code for he’s gonna try to beat me up and I’m just gonna have to take it?” Michael asked. Alex smiled big and genuine.

“No,” he said, “We talked a lot and I slept on everything and we came to the conclusion that we’ll take a step back.” 

Michael blinked slowly. “Meaning…?”

“Meaning I read that poem about thirty times and I suddenly realized that you actually _do_ have a capable bone in your body,” he said, still smiling, “Let’s say we’re even. I hurt you, you hurt me, we’ve both fucked up, let’s not look into it. New slate. New Alex, new Michael.”

Michael felt more confused than he had been in awhile, but he was too eager to know what that meant. It felt like a good thing if Alex’s smile said anything.

“We’re gonna be casual,” Alex stated, “Me and Forrest will date casually and you can try your hand and I’ll make my choice when the time comes.” Michael felt dizzy.

“Y-you mean… You mean I have a chance?”

“Yeah,” Alex said, shrugging, “And I’ll even be nice and give you a head’s up. New Alex doesn’t put up with guys who don’t have their life together. So, you know, have fun with that.”

Slowly, a smile broke out on Michael’s face and he lowered the mug.

“So you want me to prove myself?”

“Yep,” Alex said, leaning back comfortably, “And I expect it to be long term too. I don’t wanna be with someone who doesn’t at least try to get their shit together and put in effort to be a good person. I want to be wooed.”

Michael nodded easily.

“You already know I can woo you.”

“Mm,” Alex hummed, shrugging, “I think my standards are a bit higher now, so you might have to step up your game.”

“I’ll do it.”

“We’ll see.”

Alex pushed himself up to his feet, giving him such a distinct look of intrigue that Michael felt like his skin was on fire. 

“I have to go to work. You know, like an adult,” Alex said, smirking slightly through the dig to make it hit less. And it did. Hell, even if it hadn’t, Michael was riding a high he hadn’t felt in awhile. Alex disappeared down the hall towards his bedroom.

Who the hell could’ve predicted that Max of all people could be right?

**Author's Note:**

> also on my tumblr: spaceskam


End file.
